Metta is the Buddhist meditation practice of loving kindness for ourselves and for all beings. But it is much more than that: it is a frame of mind and a way of being who we really are, a way of living life fully.

Metta is a Pali word (Pali was the language that existed in India at the time of the Buddha) meaning “gently”, “friendly” and “unconditional love” and, traditionally, the Buddha prescribed the practice to relieve the fear of those who walked through forests and slept in caves.

So how does this apply to us now?  In life when we are faced with difficult and challenging situations we react unconsciously from fear and the illusion and mistaken belief that we are separate individuals. We then therefore feel we need to defend and protect ourselves, that we need to push through life, and that we are limited.  It’s then that we get lost in and identify with destructive, negative emotions such as hatred, ill-will, anger, resentment, anxiety, self doubt and self pity.

When we choose Metta as an antidote it is important to start where we are – to acknowledge our actual state of mind. It is important to respect and allow the way “we are” in the moment without suppressing or denying, and then it is important to accept what is. And from this place of acceptance, we then have a choice. “OK, I’m feeling hurt and rejected, I allow and accept this feeling and I now choose to come to the practice of Metta generating a feeling of love for myself. So in this way Metta practice can take us from the sense of separation, the hurt and negative emotions towards a more skillful and peaceful way of being.

So this is how it transforms – Metta heals the heart, starts to purify the body of the emotional toxins and leads to purification of our inner reactions. Metta is harmony of body, heart, intention and mind; it is harmony in families, in society and in the whole of the Universe. We practice Metta to help reconnect us with what we really are. Metta starts with loving and accepting ourselves (which is not always easy when we judge and doubt ourselves). So have the intention NOW to let go of the self judgments – this then makes it easier to work with self love and acceptance.

By Wendy Young